Introduction

"A tender, funny portrait of love in its myriad forms." --Mikki Brammer, bestselling author of The Collected Regrets of Clover

A funny, heartfelt, late coming-of-age story that examines the role of memory in holding us back--and in moving us forward--for fans of The Collected Regrets of Clover and Maame.

Call it inertia. Call it a quarter-life crisis. Whatever you call it, Cricket Campbell is stuck. Despite working at a zeitgeisty wellness company, the 26-year-old feels anything but well. Still adrift after a tragedy that upended her world a decade ago, she has entered early adulthood under the weight of a new burden: her father’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

When Cricket’s older sister Nina announces it is time to move Arthur from his beloved Adirondack lake house into a memory-care facility, Cricket has a better idea. In returning home to become her father’s caretaker, she hopes to repair their strained relationship and shake herself out of her perma-funk. But even deeply familiar places can hold surprises.

As Cricket settles back into the family house at Catwood Pond?a place she once loved, but hasn’t visited since she was a teenager?she discovers that her father possesses a rare gift: as he loses his grasp of the past, he is increasingly able to predict the future. Before long, Arthur cements his reputation as an unlikely oracle, but for Cricket, believing in her father’s prophecies might also mean facing the most painful parts of her history. As she begins to remember who she once was, she uncovers a vital truth: the path forward often starts by going back.

With laugh-out-loud humor and profound grace, Before I Forget explores the nuances of family, the complexities of memory, and how sometimes, the people we know the best are the ones who surprise us the most.

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Excerpt

Chapter 1

I am stuck between selves. Right now, I am no one.

I am also stuck, literally, in the mud, the wheels of my janky hatchback spinning in fruitless circles as they work themselves deeper into the earth. I should have known better than to drive up this particular road in this particular car at this particular time of year, but I forgot. It has been a while since I visited my father’s house. More than a while. It has been nine years. ... view entire excerpt...

Discussion Questions

From the publisher - added by Pauline

1. How do the flashbacks into Cricket’s past contribute to your understanding of her character in the present,
and how do they shape your reading experience?

2. Discuss the evolution of Cricket and Nina’s relationship over the course of the novel. How does Cricket’s
perspective of Nina correlate with her self-image for most of the story, and what are the effects of this?
Compare and contrast their respective caregiving approach.

3. How does Before I Forget critique our culture’s obsession with monetization and profit versus intrinsic value
and service? “[Cricket] was exhausted by the compulsion to monetize everything; to convert every glimmer
of authenticity into a product; to scale small joys until they are so bloated that they wither and droop.” (page
218) Discuss the ethical implications of using advanced technology to immortalize Arthur for financial gain,
and why you think Cricket did not want to profit from the oracle project.

4. Considering Gemma’s promotional content, how does social media contribute to generating a heightened
interest in “wellness” products and instilling a sense of urgency and necessity around them? To what
extent do you think it can be taken too far, if at all? How does society’s view on aging and beauty
standards feed into this “wellness” obsession? What do you think people are truly seeking when they
indulge in Extreme Wellness?

5. How does Gemma’s idea of self-care differ from Carl’s idea of it? What is something you turn to as a form of self-care?

6. Compare and contrast Locust and New York City. How does
Cricket’s setting influence her character development? How
do the pace and community dynamic differ in each location?

7. How is the Adirondacks house a main character within the novel, and how does it reflect broader themes of identity and change? How does the house reflect Arthur’s and Tish’s contrasting outlooks?

8. What do you make of the loons? Why do you think Cricket is so intrigued by the loonlet toward the end of the novel?

9. What does Cricket’s recurring dream, and its evolution, reveal to you about her internal state? Have you ever had a recurring dream?

10. Cricket and Arthur are both at pivotal yet opposite stages in their lives when they reunite. How do you think they
each impacted the other’s sense of self during this crucial time, if at all? In what ways do you think Cricket might
have been holding herself back, and how does Seth’s tragic accident shape Cricket’s sense of herself, and her
relationships, for a decade? Have you ever felt defined by the stories you tell yourself?

11. “Since his diagnosis, my father’s social network has atrophied. People aren’t sure how to interact with him, so
they just stop interacting at all.” (page 23) How does the fear of not knowing how to engage with a person who is
ill lead them to social isolation? What are some steps an individual could take to ensure continued support and
connection with an ailing friend or loved one?

12. Though Before I Forget addresses the challenges of caretaking and memory loss, it also considers the
opportunity to shift perspectives—in this case, Cricket appreciates Arthur’s newfound ability to connect with his
intuition without the weight of the past. How does it feel to focus more on what is gained in old age, rather than
what is lost?

13. This story explores how grief and life’s most difficult situations, while painful, can simultaneously encourage
growth and lead us back to ourselves. “Not our final selves, or even our improved selves, but just our next selves.
After all, we are always between selves. It doesn’t mean we are lost—it means we are growing.” (page 270) What
does Before I Forget suggest about the importance of tapping into your intuition? What are some ways you could
go about doing this?

14. How did this novel impact you, and what emotions did it leave you with? Did it perhaps “show you what you
already know” (page 175)? As Nina tells Cricket, “The best things are still ahead of us.” (page 18) How do you
imagine Cricket’s life beyond the page?

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