The Things We Never Say, Elizabeth Strout, author; Robert Petkoff, narrator
This is a quick read with an easygoing narrative that is easy to follow. In a rather short novel, the author covers almost every human condition and flaw that flesh is heir to. In some way, even briefly, it touches on all relationships, on loyalty and infidelity, antisemitism and anti-Americanism, secrets and revelations, betrayals and rewards, compassion and cruelty, forgiveness and sin, hate and love, kindness and indifference, politics and opinion, truth and lies, suicide and precognition, rescue and heroism, life and death, and people in general. Is everyone flawed in some way? Are secrets better kept or disclosed? Do we all have flaws waiting to be exposed? Should we judge each other or overlook our sins?
Artie and Evie Dam are in a very compatible relationship, after 28 years of marriage; they are very comfortable with each other. However, they came from the opposite sides of the track. Evie came from a life of privilege, while Artie’s dad was the super of a few buildings and his mother was mentally unstable. Artie, a history teacher, seemed softer and kinder than Evie, a social worker, who was quicker to rush to judge others. He was quicker to cut them some slack. They had one child, Rob. Rob is in what is now a troubled marriage. He and Francesca still respected and loved each other, but they wanted to end their marriage. They still happily lived together while they worked out their uncontested, impending divorce. Rob had a successful career in technology and Francesca was a concert pianist which required her to travel worldwide. If they did divorce it would be very amicable. Artie and Evie had once been good friends with Flossie and Reginald MacDonald, although Reginald had passed away and Flossie had moved away. Evie believed that Reginald would not have married Flossie if she had not tricked him into it. Reginald was not well liked because of his abusive behavior and abrasive personality. Flossie was loud, flashy, and outspoken. Evie preferred Reginald and Artie preferred Flossie who was his friend.
Because of a tragic fatal accident in which Rob was involved, the relationship they all shared suffered. They grew distant with each other. Later in life, when Artie was in his late 50’s, he discovered that he was actually lonely, even though to the outside world he seemed content. His students adored him, and the principal respected him, so why did he contemplate ending his life? He had even dreamt of it. As if planned, one day, Artie, who loved sailing, found he was unable to get into his boat. He lost control and fell into the water. He became incapacitated by the weight of his water-filled boots and clothing. He thought, am I dreaming? He soon tired of trying to remove what was weighing him down in this cold water off the coast of Massachusetts, and he began to drift out to sea with the current. Facing what he believed was his impending death, he realized he did not want to die, after all.
Unexpectedly, he was rescued, but this experience changed his personality. The former kind and compassionate teacher remained thus, but he also became a bit more assertive, sometimes a bit more reactive, and also, suddenly he wanted to break rules. He began to shoplift but was unsure why. He began to lie to his wife and his students. Does this breaking of the rules empower him? Coincidentally, at this time, Rob had a new girlfriend, Rachel. She also liked to break rules, and her kleptomania horrified Rob when he discovered it. Then, Rob also revealed a secret to his dad which could upend his life. Artie, however, chose not to deal directly with this secret, and instead decided to think about what to do with it. By now, he appreciated living. Since he had almost drowned, he no longer contemplated ending his life. He continued to maintain an even keel kind of lifestyle with his wife, and he and Rob had become more communicative with each other. Does he want to upset that apple cart? Artie had secrets, too. He had been lying to his wife and his students and had broken the law. In retrospect, does this secret set Artie back on the right track? How will each of these characters move forward with their lives. Will Artie ever reveal the secret when he knows the consequences could be catastrophic? He was struck by the idea that people could know each other for so long and never really know each other at all. Artie was the sort of man who had always tried to positively influence his students and others. Would he continue to be that way? Would he pay the acts of kindness that had been afforded to him forward? Ater so many years, Artie also began to question the idea of free will and precognition. He wanted to know about the psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung’s philosophy. These questions deepened his relationship with his son.
In the end, consider this: Do we all have secrets from each other, even those closest to us? What makes a parent, biology or environment? In the scheme of things, what is more important, nature or nurture? Do we all have the potential to stray off the beaten track? The book highlights the ills of people and society through comments about politics, wealth, religion, education, and relationships. Is it better to condemn one another and air it all out or leave things unsaid to maintain the status quo? What does it mean to achieve the American dream? Was the political point of view of the author, which was so obviously left-wing and anti-Trump, necessary or crucial to the story? In retrospect, considering the setting in Democrat dominated Massachusetts, there probably would have been little other political preference, but was it worth it to alienate and/or offend a large portion of her audience? Will it turn some readers away? Must we all be the same, harboring the same viewpoints like programmed automatons? Is one man’s poison truly another man’s meat? In a brief novel, Strout has highlighted life today, but she has done it in a very unnecessarily biased way for some of her readers.