Twice, Mitch Albom, author and narrator
What a concept it would be to be able to go back in time, even once. We could correct our mistakes and erase them from the memories of everyone but ourselves. A thoughtless moment immature behavior, foolish actions committed without the intention to harm, would not have to mark the offender for life, would not have to make the person feel inordinate amounts of guilt or shame. Instead, one could actually deal with the mistake, learn from it and correct it, move on and be forgiven, even if that forgiveness comes only from within the very person who made the mistake.
Can you imagine the value of the lesson learned if that power was not abused? I surely wouldn’t want a criminal to go back and commit the crime again for his own demented pleasure, that would be an abuse of the power, but a foolish mistake could be undone without the accompanying anger that is so prevalent today, as the masses unite against a common enemy, especially on social media. Schadenfreude has become a common goal instead of the idea of forgiving and forgetting.
Oddly enough, or coincidentally, I just had a conversation with my own family about just this kind of thing, the foolish mistakes that are made, in this case by a child, and the appropriate responses for all those involved, the victims and the victimizers, especially when sometimes both parties are guilty of being both the victim and victimizer, threatening each other, at different times of the event. The incident involved someone in school, a child who used a terrible pejorative, in what he believed was a private conversation. He might have thought that he was being funny and not necessarily cruel. I am not diminishing the behavior in any way, just questioning the responses of others and thinking of long-term consequences for what might have been an innocent mistake made by someone not mature enough to really know the difference. That power that Alfie had, to go back in time and repair the error, would have been very useful in this case. The incident would not have blown up and the child would not have been shamed publicly.
Depending upon the infraction, imagine the change in our own behavior, if we did not overreact. Perhaps we would not have riots, protest marches, frustrated and unhappy individuals who spend each day complaining and objecting to something or other. Perhaps we would have happier people, not obsessed with placing blame and extracting consequences which often outweigh the offense.
The child that I am referring to was punished severely, appropriately or not is not for me to judge. However, when the person that had been offended by the pejorative then behaved abominably and threatened to blackmail that child if he didn’t give him money to keep him quiet, that child’s offensive behavior was ignored. One offender confessed. One did not. The situation blew up, and instead of learning a lesson to be a better person, one child was shamed and humiliated. All of us had differing opinions on the guilt of each child involved, the backgrounds of each and the reason one was ignored and one was not, and the level of punishment that was meted out.
Did the child who made the error truly believe he was having a private conversation with friends, although using email on the internet kind of negates that for most people who understand that anything on the web is not going to remain private. When do words become dangerous? Why did one friend betray the other and tattle on him? Was that honorable behavior or could he have simply told his friend not to behave that way, offering him the opportunity to behave better and delete the word? Why is one child expected to be more mature than the other? Why was the ultimate aim to shame and punish? If only the offender had been able to go back and relive the moment, like Alfie, avoiding the foolish mistake, that once might have been considered a joke, but today is a grave offense. He would learn a lesson without emotional scarring or perpetual shame. Everyone involved would not need to judge or forgive anyone. The need for vengeance that we witness everyday today by adults, would disappear.
So, while I realize I have gone a bit astray and off topic, I believe that Mitch Albom has, once again, pointed his light in the direction of real values, those that we treasure, like love, honesty, redemption and forgiveness. He does not dwell on shame, guilt or punishment. He does all this with brevity and simple language that all of us can identify with and understand. His messages are always loud and clear for anyone who wants to hear them. We should love and respect each other, promote kindness, forgiveness and acceptance, promote good values, and perhaps, simply help each other to enjoy our lives.