Olive, Again, Elizabeth Strout, author, narrator, Kimberly Farr
Olive remains a curmudgeon in this novel which continues her life story. Once a teacher who was very demanding and authoritarian, she retains those personality traits. She has a sharp tongue and can be very abrasive, but she is also endearing because of her seeming innocence about life. Time has gone by and her first husband, Henry, has died. In this novel, a friendship is developing between Olive and Jack, a man whose wife died 7 months ago. It is rough going, at first, because Olive is suspicious and untrusting of everyone’s motives and sincerity. Jack, however, is persistent.
Jack is a former Harvard professor. He has a very sarcastic tongue and is often humorous. He does not like being lonely and he adores Olive’s honesty and way of expressing things. She makes him laugh. As they get to know each other, he brings out the best in her and she brings out the best in him. Together, they both learn to relax and enjoy life again. Then, after eight years, Jack dies in his sleep and Olive is alone again. She is living in Jack’s house, and it doesn’t feel like it belongs to her. It feels like it belongs to his first wife, Betsy. Olive has lots of time to think, in her loneliness, and she experiences a variety of emotions and thoughts about her two husbands. She begins to appreciate both for different reasons. As she recognizes that she is getting old, she also begins to recognize some of her own flaws and tries to deal with them.
After she suffers a heart attack and a fall, her son Christopher, with whom she had not been close, insists that she move to an dependent living facility because he doesn’t want her to live alone. Although she does not like to admit weakness, she recognizes that he is right and she agrees. Somehow, she finds it hard to fit in. She is lonely and would like to make friends, but she doesn’t really know how. She really doesn’t know how to reach out to people or accept their faults. She pushes them away instead with her coldness and her curt conversation. What is on her mind is often on her tongue too quickly. She easily finds fault with everything and everyone. She even gives people insulting nicknames. However, as she ages, she learns to show emotion, listen to the troubles of others, not only her own, and to make her own happiness. She realizes that she doesn’t have to be independent or alone. She can accept help, admit faults and comfortably share appropriate emotions.
The novel is a touching story which highlights the travails of aging with its shortcomings and loneliness. It is necessary to come to terms with the decay of the body and the limitations it inflicts. The story illustrates the decline all humans must endure. It highlights the stages of denial and acceptance that accompany it, and the need for love and affection, companionship and conversation, that continues even as we grow old. In that way, the novel reminds me of Kent Haruf’s “Our Souls at Night”. Loneliness is a big problem for the elderly, and none of us want to experience it.
At the end of the book, Olive writes down her memories; she is writing a memoir. She is learning that there are people who love and appreciate her, warts and all, although she never thought it was so. She discovers that even though she harshly judges some people based on first impressions, her snobbism is often misplaced. She is sometimes as bad as those she accuses of being snobs. She is often thoughtless and says things that are hurtful. She is suspicious of people’s motives, even when there is no reason. She experiences unnecessary anxiety. She suspects people of negative feelings and behavior without reason, at times. As she gives herself the time to consider her own behavior, she learns how to make a friend and be a friend in return.
For me, the author unnecessarily injected her personal political bias into the book. It added nothing to the story and may anger some readers. The book brings up subjects to support the liberal agenda. The author tells the story of someone’s dominatrix daughter and attempts to make it a wholesome profession since the dominatrix is helping the poor soul who requires punishment. She also brings up the cancellation of a Civil War reenactment because of the controversy of the Confederate flag. Then too, she creates a scene in which Olive cherishes a relationship that has barely begun, between herself and a Muslim caregiver and at the same time shows her as someone who believes that the French and Francophiles are uppity. She notices class differences and feels out of place with “the rich” and she pokes fun of Harvard high brows. She also depicts Olive and her family, down to her gradson, as Trump haters.
On the other hand, I enjoyed the book because of the psychological exploration of late life. Olive and her struggles are presented with humor and will often make the reader chuckle. Olive voices feelings and concerns many older adults have and also find it hard to talk about. Getting old and needy, getting infirm in different ways, and needing the help of others is something hard to deal with and hard for people to even consider.
Still, overall, Olive is at times unpleasant and disagreeable, making her unlikable, but she is always someone you eventually feel sorry for and eventually even grow to like. She will make you smile and think about your own life, behavior and thoughts. Are you too quick to jump to conclusions, too quick to judge, too suspicious, too insecure about your own capabilities? Do you make it hard for people to know you or get close to you? Can you change and get more out of life by being more congenial, more thoughtful? It is worth some real consideration.