The Mistress's Daughter: A Memoir
by A. M. Homes
Hardcover- N/A

An acclaimed novelist's riveting memoir about what it means to be adopted and how all of us construct our sense of self and family

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  "What is the point?" by alycat78 (see profile) 11/04/07

I understood that this book was an autobiography when I opened it, but as I started reading it, I thought to myself "so what?" The author represents her story in what I felt was a rather narcissistic way. She is not the only person in the world with family issues, and she's certainly not the only adoptee or illegitimate child in the world either. I tried to look for the good as I kept reading, but honestly it was a struggle for me to get through this book. I was expecting much more profound themes to emerge as I read, but what I found was just another sob story about a person with a less than ideal family background. Welcome to the club, A.M. Homes!

 
  "An adopted adult meets and learns about her biological parents" by roobaby75 (see profile) 11/05/07

When I first started reading this book I wasn't impressed. I was a bit put off. I found the narrator to have too much of a flat affect. After all, this was supposed to be wrought with emotion, or so one would think. Once I really started picking apart my feelings about the book I realized that it was wrought with emotion, it was just a confused, cautious emotion that was tinged with pity and anger.

As Ms. Homes continues to correspond with her biological mother and father you can definitely start to understand why she is trying to be cautious. The mother is an "adult playing a child" and the way that she trys to guilt Ms. Homes into having a relationship with her and the enormous amount of self-pity that she displays is truly repulsive. You feel for Ms. Homes trying to come to terms with this woman. And then there is her father who simply can't be inconvenienced with this daughter that he refuses to incorporate into his family. You think at times that he does feel an obligation towards her, but never enough to upset his day to day life. He turns out to be even more repellent than the mother.

Ms. Homes tries to evaluate her feelings about these people by imagining what their lives must have been like when she was conceived. She struggles to come to terms with what these people mean to her life. I think in the end that she is grateful for having been adopted, and the exposure to these two self-centered people helps her to realize how lucky she has been in her life. I wish that there would have been more discussion about her adopted family.

Although this is not the best book I've ever read, I do feel that it is a good book to discuss with a group. You have to stop and really pick apart the story to try and find the reasons in why she is writing this book. It's not a literary masterpiece by any means, but maybe a way of coming to terms with the rejection that she endured.

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