Introduction

A brilliantly original and funny novel about a sex therapist’s transcriptionist who falls in love with a client while listening to her sessions. When they accidentally meet in real life, an explosive affair ensues.

Greta lives with her friend Sabine in an ancient Dutch farmhouse in Hudson, New York. The house, built in 1737, is unrenovated, uninsulated, and full of bees. Greta spends her days transcribing therapy sessions for a sex coach who calls himself Om. She becomes infatuated with his newest client, a repressed married woman she affectionately refers to as Big Swiss, since she’s tall, stoic, and originally from Switzerland. Greta is fascinated by Big Swiss’s refreshing attitude toward trauma. They both have dark histories, but Big Swiss chooses to remain unattached to her suffering while Greta continues to be tortured by her past.

One day, Greta recognizes Big Swiss’s voice at the dog park. In a panic, she introduces herself with a fake name and they quickly become enmeshed. Although Big Swiss is unaware of Greta’s true identity, Greta has never been more herself with anyone. Her attraction to Big Swiss overrides her guilt, and she’ll do anything to sustain the relationship…

Bold, outlandish, and filled with irresistible characters, Big Swiss is both a love story and also a deft examination of infidelity, mental health, sexual stereotypes, and more—from an amazingly talented, one-of-a-kind voice in contemporary fiction.

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Discussion Questions

1. Greta signed an NDA when she started working for Om, but she sometimes tells her roommate Sabine about the sessions she transcribes. Why do you think she does this? If you were in Greta’s situation, would you be tempted to discuss information like this with a close friend or partner?

2. When Greta encounters some of Om’s clients in Hudson, she thinks, “They were as familiar as characters from a novel” (page 90), and when she meets Big Swiss, “Greta felt an immediate intimacy, in the same way her favorite podcast hosts sometimes felt like friends” (page 118). What do you think of these kinds of one-sided (also called “parasocial”) relationships in the novel and in your own life? Do you think it’s possible for them to ever develop into mutual ones?

3. “I’m not good at playing the passive female,” Big Swiss tells Om when recounting her traumatic experience with Keith (page 71). Do you think this is true of her character? What about Greta’s?

4. How does Greta handle hearing Flavia reveal personal information that she already knows? Have you ever had to listen to someone tell you something private that you already knew? How did you react?

5. Greta says Flavia is the reason she rediscovered “her own appetite” (page 174). Discuss the connections between desire, obsession, sexual satisfaction, and romantic love in the novel. How does Greta and Flavia’s relationship compare to the relationships they’ve had with men?

6. Discuss the representation of bisexuality and queer identity in the novel. What stereotypes does it explore or dispel? How do Greta and Flavia think about their own sexual identities? About each other’s?

7. Did you notice any generational differences between Flavia (a millennial) and Greta (a Gen Xer)? How do their own opinions about the other’s age impact their relationship?

8. During an infamous dinner party, Luke tells Greta and Flavia to “please stop bickering like . . . sisters,” to which Flavia remarks, “We’re more like mother and daughter” (page 220). Do you agree with either scenario? If the latter, who do you think is the “mother” figure and who is the “daughter”?

9. When Greta apologizes, Flavia tells her: “I don’t accept apologies. Sorry is just something you take off a shelf. It means nothing to me” (page 252). What did you think of this response? Is there something else Greta should do to earn Flavia’s forgiveness?

10. Discuss the presentation of trauma in the novel and the different ways Greta and Flavia deal with what they’ve experienced. Greta references her mother’s suicide as a reason for the decisions she’s made, but Flavia retorts that she would never blame her choices on her traumas. Do you agree with her, or do you think we are conditioned by past events to behave in certain ways? How did the novel’s humor affect your experience reading about these heavy topics?

11. What did you think about the character of Om, and his therapy practice? Did any of his advice or methods seem to help his patients? Revisit his final session in chapter 20; did you think his assessment of trauma and the healing journey was accurate?

12. Discuss the following quote: “Greta was just beginning to understand that human relationships were pure folly, because nothing was ever perfectly mutual. One person always liked or loved the other person a little more than they were liked or loved, and sometimes it was a lot more, and sometimes the tables turned and you found yourself on the other side, but it was never, ever equal, and that was pretty much the only thing you could count on in life” (page 286). Do you agree? How has this dynamic played out in Greta’s relationships with Stacy, Sabine, Flavia, and others?

13. Consider the nonhuman characters in the book—bees and maggots, dogs and donkeys. What do they do for the story, literally as well as metaphorically? Did you have a favorite animal?

14. “We’re both guilty,” Greta tells Flavia. “I signed a confidentiality agreement, but I’m not married” (page 254). How are the topics of infidelity and ethics explored in the book? By the end, how does each woman feel about the choices she made?

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