Introduction

In her most revealing and powerful book yet, the beloved activist, speaker, and bestselling author of Love Warrior and Carry On, Warrior explores the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet the expectations of the world, and start trusting the voice deep within us.

“Untamed will liberate women—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. It is phenomenal.”—Elizabeth Gilbert, author of City of Girls and Eat Pray Love 

This is how you find yourself.

There is a voice of longing inside each woman. We strive so mightily to be good: good partners, daughters, mothers, employees, and friends. We hope all this striving will make us feel alive. Instead, it leaves us feeling weary, stuck, overwhelmed, and underwhelmed. We look at our lives and wonder: Wasn’t it all supposed to be more beautiful than this? We quickly silence that question, telling ourselves to be grateful, hiding our discontent—even from ourselves.

For many years, Glennon Doyle denied her own discontent. Then, while speaking at a conference, she looked at a woman across the room and fell instantly in love. Three words flooded her mind: There She Is. At first, Glennon assumed these words came to her from on high. But she soon realized they had come to her from within. This was her own voice—the one she had buried beneath decades of numbing addictions, cultural conditioning, and institutional allegiances. This was the voice of the girl she had been before the world told her who to be. Glennon decided to quit abandoning herself and to instead abandon the world’s expectations of her. She quit being good so she could be free. She quit pleasing and started living.

Soulful and uproarious, forceful and tender, Untamed is both an intimate memoir and a galvanizing wake-up call. It is the story of how one woman learned that a responsible mother is not one who slowly dies for her children, but one who shows them how to fully live. It is the story of navigating divorce, forming a new blended family, and discovering that the brokenness or wholeness of a family depends not on its structure but on each member’s ability to bring her full self to the table. And it is the story of how each of us can begin to trust ourselves enough to set boundaries, make peace with our bodies, honor our anger and heartbreak, and unleash our truest, wildest instincts so that we become women who can finally look at ourselves and say: There She Is.

Untamed shows us how to be brave. As Glennon insists: The braver we are, the luckier we get.

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Discussion Questions

Let’s first talk about the title. Why do you think she chose “Untamed”?

Are you a fan of Glennon Doyle’s previous work? If so, how do you think this one compared to her previous books? In what ways has she grown?

The book starts off with a prologue where Glennon and her family see a caged in cheetah at the local zoo. This becomes a metaphor for all women to break free from their cages. Let’s discuss this.

Glennon made huge changes in life: she got divorced from her husband and married female soccer star Abby Wambach. After she first meets Abby, Glennon writes on page 6: “I looked hard at my faith, my friendships, my work, my sexuality, my entire life and asked: How much of this was my idea? Do I truly want any of this, or is this what I was conditioned to want?” How much do you think one’s decision making is based on other people’s expectations? What’s the balance between forging your own path and listening to advice from others? Or does the balance exist?

Glennon talks about how women, especially, always go back to the mindset that they should be grateful for what they have and not really do anything to “rock the boat” so to say. Let’s talk about this concept—why does it seem that women are forced to be agreeable and satisfied while men seem to be allowed to want something more?

What did you think about the first meeting between Glennon and Abby? How did that change everything for her?

The key to freedom according to Glennon: feeling emotions, trusting intuition, embracing imagination and finding courage. Why do you think women tend to ignore those areas of who they are? Do you agree with her on this that by embracing those parts of themselves, women can truly be free?

A standout quote includes: “When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.” Let’s talk about what this quote means to us.

Glennon talks often about embracing one’s Knowing. Let’s discuss what this Knowing is and how it applies to each person.

She talks about God and religion throughout the book and says “to me, faith is not a public allegiance to a set of outer beliefs, but a private surrender to the inner Knowing.” What do you think about her viewpoint on God and religion?


In the chapter where her mother is struggling with Glennon’s sexuality, Glennon recognizes that while her mother loves her, they disagree about what’s best for her. So Glennon is going to have to decide who she trusts more: her mother or herself. And for the first time, she decided to trust herself and that’s when she became an adult. She says that a woman becomes a responsible parent when she stops being an obedient daughter. What do you think about this concept and can you relate to it?

The book is positioned as insight about what it means to be a woman today. Do you agree that the book achieved this?

What are your key takeaways from this book?

Which quotes and passages did you highlight from the book?

--Questions from Book Club Chat

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