BKMT READING GUIDES
A Life in Men: A Novel
by Gina Frangello
Paperback : 432 pages
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The friendship between Mary and Nix had endured since childhood, a seemingly unbreakable bond, until the mid-1980s, when the two young women embarked on a summer vacation in Greece. It was a trip initiated by Nix, who had just learned that Mary had been diagnosed with a disease that would ...
Introduction
The friendship between Mary and Nix had endured since childhood, a seemingly unbreakable bond, until the mid-1980s, when the two young women embarked on a summer vacation in Greece. It was a trip initiated by Nix, who had just learned that Mary had been diagnosed with a disease that would cut her life short and who was determined that it be the vacation of a lifetime. But by the time their visit to Greece was over, Nix had withdrawn from their friendship, and Mary had no idea why.
Three years later, Nix is dead, and Mary returns to Europe to try to understand what went wrong. In the process she meets the first of many men that she will spend time with as she travels throughout the world. Through them she experiences not only a sexual awakening but a spiritual and emotional awakening that allows her to understand how the past and the future are connected and to appreciate the freedom to live life adventurously.
Excerpt
Three Honeymoons(CANARY ISLANDS: GEOFF)
What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open. —Muriel Rukeyser, “Käthe Kollwitz”
On New Year’s Eve, 1994, she didn’t think she’d make it to ’95, but here it is almost spring, and she is not only still kicking but feeling inconceivably fresh off another overseas plane ride and holding a fruity welcome drink in the main house of the most luxurious resort she’s ever seen. Its architecture resembles that of a turn–of–the–century village, as envisioned by a partnership of Travel and Leisure and Gaudí. Instead of one big hotel, approximately twenty “villas” dot the elaborately landscaped gardens like mini fairy–tale castles, all squat turrets and shiny tiles and pastel shutters. Instead of outhouses or vermin carrying bubonic plague, the place is so clean that Mary would feel perfectly comfortable licking the floors. ...
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Discussion Questions
? Mary and Nix both strongly react against their mothers’ lives, wanting something different and “larger” for themselves. Yet Mary ends up understanding her adoptive mother better as she faces infertility, and Nix ends up – like her mother – choosing to keep an unplanned pregnancy that might limit her opportunities. How do you think we begin to see our parents’ choices differently as we age and face similar challenges?? Although neither Mary’s nor Nix’s mother makes a concrete appearance on the page, did you as the reader think these women were likely as “simple” as their brash, college-age daughters made them out to be? What might your own mother’s story “look like” in a novel versus the way you thought of it when you were younger?
? Discuss the role of “survivor’s guilt” in the novel. First, Nix’s feelings of guilt regarding Mary’s illness (and her behavior with Mary’s first boyfriend, Bobby Kenner) prompt her to make a sacrifice that is much greater than she could have understood going in. Later, Mary struggles with the guilt of being the one still living when she was supposed to be the one to die young. Still later, Mary’s guilt is complicated further as she begins to realize the truth of what Nix did for her in Greece. Why are we so often haunted by guilt over things we cannot control?
? Very close to her death, Mary refers to Geoff as the “man of my life” (page 339). And yet in many ways, she appears to be more intimate with Kenneth, with whom she feels an unsurpassed “recognition” and kinship, and whose acceptance she sees as unconditional and unflinching. What characterizes Mary’s relationships with these two very different men? What are the differences and overlaps of romantic love, sexual attraction, and friendship she feels with each? Do you think Mary’s relationship with Kenneth is “immoral”? Is their bond a betrayal of Geoff? Is it possible to love two people at the same time? Does Mary’s illness have an impact on what she is “entitled” to in this regard?
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