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The Night Garden: Of My Mother
by Sandra Tyler
Paperback : 288 pages
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The Night Garden: Of My Mother is an honest, beautifully written exploration of the intricate bonds between mothers and daughters.
Sandra Tyler, the acclaimed author of Blue Glass, a New ...
Introduction
"Tyler's ability to dissect the parent-child relationship is unmatched."— Titan GOLD AWARD
The Night Garden: Of My Mother is an honest, beautifully written exploration of the intricate bonds between mothers and daughters.
Sandra Tyler, the acclaimed author of Blue Glass, a New York Times Notable Book of The Year, mines what it means to be divided between these roles, with empathy and affectionate comedy.
When her 86-year-old mother falls and breaks her hip, Sandra Tyler is 42, with a nursing infant and precocious toddler.
After this fall, Tyler's mother insists on hiring her own caregivers—a motley patchwork of lost souls, including the too-friendly who think Scrabble is a good idea. But when she has a near-fatal fall, it is the author who hires a live-in aide, Chandice, who moves into her mother's house as if it were her own, with her KitchenAid mixer and apple-and-kale concoctions. Where should Tyler's allegiance lie? At what cost to their relationship should she no longer defer to her mother's steadfast guidance?
As her mother's dementia worsens, Chandice warns the author about other daughters "gone crazy" watching their mothers become unrecognizable. After her mother's death, the author is admitted to a psychiatric ward, where she sleeps the "sleep of the dying," as her mother slept in her final weeks. But in the timelessness of this ward, she can wonder: what exactly had always been at the core of their bond?
In breathtaking prose, The Night Garden candidly explores what it means for a daughter to have her focus fractured by conflicting responsibilities while still seeking, above all else, her mother's approval, protection and love.
Editorial Review
No Editorial Review Currently AvailableExcerpt
There was a trajectory to these final years, and I’m reminded of the winding dirt road along the Rio Chama River, where my mother took me in New Mexico, a place she returned to several times in her youth, to ride horseback through the painted desert of red rock. I would find one black-and-white photo of her leaning on a horse ring. She’s in a white blouse, her wavy hair blowing in the dry wind. She is relaxed and happy, clearly in her element. She would tell me about riding a horse down a mountain in a lightning storm, and how “crazy” but exhilarating it was. I often have imagined her in that same blouse, her hair in the wind, riding down that mountain. I imagine her exposed to wind and sky, riding through sage brush and cotton woods, her white blouse brilliant against dark clouds. ...
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Discussion Questions
From the author:1. How would you characterize the relationship between the author and her mother before her mother loses her independence— what are some examples of their role reversals?
2. How do you think this reversal would affect your relationship with your own mother?
3. How does the author’s relationship with her mother’s aide evolves throughout the book?
4. When her mother loses her license — how pivotal is that event in their relationship?
5. What do you think about how well the author portrays herself as a sandwich mom? Do any of you identify with these caregiving demands?
6. What are examples of how Tyler explores the profound bond between mothers and daughters, and the questions we might have about our mothers as daughters once themselves?
Weblinks
Notes From the Author to the Bookclub
Reviews: "Tyler's ability to dissect the parent-child relationship is unmatched. She portrays the paradoxical nature of familial love with unflinching honesty—how the same person can be a source of comfort and exasperation, joy and sorrow. The humor threaded through the memoir softens the melancholy, making the story as entertaining as it is reflective. Few memoirs tackle the complexity of family with such insight and grace. The Night Garden: Of My Mother is a must-read for anyone grappling with aging parents, the weight of caregiving, or the bittersweet nature of love. Tyler's prose cuts to the core, reminding us that even the most difficult relationships can leave behind gardens of meaning and growth." --5 stars--— Literary Titan / GOLD BOOK AWARD “A BEAUTIFULLY HONEST MEMOIR. . .Tyler’s expression of the difficult transformations that occur between caregiving and requiring care, especially for women who take on traditional familial roles, resonates with human universality.”—BOOKLIFE / EDITOR’S PICK HEARTFELT, ELOQUENT, EMOTIONALLY ENGAGING, The Night Garden: Of My Mother is inherently fascinating and candidly presented, making it of special value to readers with an interest in motherhood, adult children caring for parents with dementia, inevitable grief and ultimate recovery from debilitating bereavement. — MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW / REVIEWER’S CHOICE WITH WIT, EMPATHY, AND UNVARISHED HONESTY, The Night Garden of My Mother is a moving exploration of love, duty, and self-discovery. Tyler’s prose is as lush as it is luminous, making this memoir a profoundly memorable read. Highly recommended for anyone navigating the labyrinth of caregiving or searching for meaning in familial ties.— READER’S HOUSE MAGAZINE /EDITOR’S CHOICEBook Club Recommendations
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