Introduction

The Rumpus Book Club Pick, May 2022
Most Anticipated Books of 2022, The Rumpus
16 Upcoming Books from Indie Presses You’ll Love, BuzzFeed

“[C]omic but still tender…. I Only Cry with Emoticons masterfully captures both the anxiety and hope of our modern lives.”—BuzzFeed

“What I love about Zalkow’s fiction is how he zips so many of our contemporary anxieties into smart prose…. I Only Cry With Emoticons is tender, searing, and consistently relatable. Zalkow takes the fragmentation of modern life—like our constantly beeping phones, our up-next streams, the very nature of the always-on internet—and transforms this digital garbage into a story that takes hold of the heart.”—Wendy Fox, Bomb Magazine

Saul doesn't get why he's misunderstood. At his high-tech day job, he hides in the bathroom writing a novel about his dead grandfather and wonders why his boss wants to fire him. He tells his almost ex-wife about a blind date and wonders why she slams the door in his face. He aches with worry for his seven-year-old son, who seems happier living with his mom and her new man.

When the blind date becomes a complicated relationship, and Saul’s blunders at work threaten the survival of the company, Saul has to wake up and confront his fears.

I Only Cry with Emoticons is a quirky comedy that reveals the cost of being disconnected—even when we're using a dozen apps on our devices to communicate—and an awkward man's search for real connections, on and offline.

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Excerpt

Chapter One: HelloWorld.java
My boss tells me it’s embarrassing that I’ve been here for six years and I’m still at Goldfish status. Ever since we installed the gamification plug-in, he knows exactly how many Likes I’ve gotten from coworkers, exactly how many Comments I’ve made, exactly how many Best Answers and Virtual Pints of Beer I’ve received, exactly how many Blog Posts I’ve posted. He even knows how many animated cat GIFs I’ve giffed, which is zero. We get points assigned to these various activities and are assigned a status level based on our points. I’m a Goldfish even though some six-monthers have already leveled up to Penguin. My boss is a Blue Whale. People think Blue Whale is the highest level, but there’s an even higher level that no one has ever achieved. ... view entire excerpt...

Discussion Questions

1. What is Saul's main issue at the start of the book? Is there a difference between what Saul thinks his problems are and what the reader thinks Saul's problems are?
2. Why do you think Saul doesn't reference his son and ex-wife by name during most of the book?
3. Who were Saul's mentors and what did they teach him?
4. What role do digital devices and digital communication play in this story?
5. Did Saul change by the end of the book? If so, how did he change?

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