Introduction

How often have you heard someone say "I hate change'? That's because most people do.

The reality is life puts us all through change: a series of events some challenging, and many joyful-that shape our day-to-day experiences. Sometimes though, in the blink of an eye, the unthinkable can happen. This begs the question: when the unexpected occurs, how do you successfully navigate change so you can land butter side up when life turns the tables?

Butter Side Up is not self-help jargon-it is edutainment for the soul. This compelling, riveting true story reviews an ordinary heroine's extraordinary journey as she traverses sudden, catastrophic change: surviving three life-altering events in the span of twelve months, losing everything, coming out the other end stronger and more resilient than ever before.

Butter Side Up is a feel-good story we can all relate to and learn from it shows us there can be happiness and joy after unplanned change-and a super awesome life too.

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Excerpt

Change Can Change Its Mind Any time

In the midst of every crisis lies opportunity. —Albert Einstein

Life puts us all through unplanned change. However, sometimes the unexpected or unthinkable can occur. The 2020 COVID-19 pandemic is a sound example of this. We knew that another pandemic could happen; however, many of us never thought it would happen. Now, no matter who you are, or where you live, on some level everything seems upside down, not right-side up.

Disasters such as COVID-19 are an accelerator for change. Who knew that at any given moment a package of toilet paper could suddenly become more valuable than your stock portfolio, or that in a heartbeat, face masks and social distancing would become the new global norm? To say the world has experienced, and will continue to experience, unprecedented change for decades would be the understatement of the year. In a nutshell: COVID-19 is unplanned change on steroids.

Unfortunately, rapid unplanned change such as a pandemic also brings with it prolonged uncertainty. When this happens, it is normal to have difficulty seeing the upside of things. We are grieving the way things used to be (loss) and are fearful about what may, or may not, happen in the future (anxiety). Some anxiety is useful because it helps us initiate strategies

like social distancing to reduce risk and keep ourselves safe. However, if we let them, sadness, fear, and anxiety can quickly become panic and cast a stranglehold on our ability to cope and move forward through uncertain times. The question then becomes how do we successfully navigate change when change can change its mind anytime?

When disaster strikes, maintaining a positive mindset with faith and hope becomes more important than ever before. Just like we put those cases of water and week’s worth of groceries in the pantry, having a positive mindset is emergency preparedness for our minds. Maintaining a positive perspective during prolonged uncertainty can make the difference between having a super-awesome life or a super-rotten one while massive upheaval plays out.

Mastering the art of positive thinking when you don’t know what the next five minutes might bring can be challenging. Positive thinking gives us an extreme advantage during times of extreme stress; yet most people do not use this strategy to their advantage. As humans we tend to focus our time and energy on what we don’t have, rather than on what we do have. Throw in some catastrophic change and we are naturally waiting for the other shoe to drop like everyone else.

During any type of change, the first step towards successfully moving away from negative thoughts towards more positive ones is acceptance.19 This does not mean you have to be happy about a situation like a pandemic and how it disrupted your life; it means that to move forward, not backward, one has to try and accept change is happening, not resist or deny it.

Acceptance and looking at your circumstances from the outside in, rather than the inside out, helps take the emotionality (fear, sadness, anxiety) out of situations. Regardless of the magnitude of an event, this encourages our minds to shift to a more positive end of the spectrum.

If we take COVID-19 as an example, the upside is that we are all in this together; friends, colleagues, family, and people around the world can relate and empathize with each other. This pandemic is not just changing your life; it is changing and affecting everyone’s lives at the same time. Collectively there is, and will be, coordinated assistance and support such as food banks, medical care, financial programs, and mental-health resources to help populations deal with

and navigate this unprecedented change. Friends, businesses, neighbourhoods, schools, and communities will adapt to make things better and help each other. Moreover, a pandemic illuminates systemic problems crying out for change, things that need to be changed for the better, such as wiping out racism, supporting our healthcare workers, and caring for our most vulnerable populations.

With COVID-19, many people have, or will, experience an unforeseen employment interruption such as a layoff or job loss. Some individuals will choose to view this unplanned change as an opportunity to pause, reflect, and re-evaluate their futures. This is where an environmental scan can be useful to look at a situation like unemployment more objectively and identify what we can control and what we cannot control. Consequently, outside-in thinking can empower us

to see the big picture, explore options, and discover opportunities amidst crisis.

Taking one day at a time is also key to coping and successfully navigating stressful situations, but particularly ones involving prolonged uncertainty. Mindfulness supports any journey to successfully navigate change because staying in the present reduces anxiety about the future and depression about the past. This helps us calm our thinking and be better prepared to stickhandle unexpected change as it arises. Tools such as meditation, exercise, and creating new, purposeful routines are great strategies to pre-pave our days and set the course for fulfilling outcomes.

Practicing gratitude during times of enormous change is also extremely important. While gratitude does not make you immune to negative feelings, it can make you more resilient because it magnifies positive emotions rather than negative ones.20 Research has shown practising gratitude can have a transformative effect on individuals’ lives because people with a more grateful disposition are more likely to bounce back after times of great adversity. Individuals who practise gratitude are also more likely to have a pro-active coping style, and less likely to develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). They are also more likely to view challenges as opportunities for personal growth. Keeping a gratitude journal during tough times can help you get into the habit of practising gratitude daily and being more mindful. Studies show that people who do this feel far less anxious and depressed than people who do not.

Affirmations are another tool that can help us move towards a more confident frame of mind during times of uncertainty. An affirmation is consciously choosing words to bring or not bring something into your life such as: “I am choosing to think more positively about this situation today.” Being grateful for what you do have, instead of focusing on what you don’t have, helps us stay positive and can illuminate our path as we navigate troubled times.

Unprecedented change like COVID-19 brings with it hard, tough stuff. The flipside is, as with all unplanned change, no matter what the magnitude, there will be fresh starts. Change can open doors; bring us joy, happiness, and excitement; offer new opportunities and experiences; usher in new love and friendships; and build faith, hope, strength, and courage we never knew we had.

COVID-19 is a reminder to all of us that change can change its mind any time, and that we need to do everything possible and use every resource in the toolkit so we can land butter-side up, not butter-side down in the game of life. Now more than ever, it is important to keep perspective and remember our life is what we create. Positive thoughts have a good effect on us. They can support us to become happier and healthier and add value to our entire lives, especially during times of prolonged uncertainty. By recognizing the impact of negative thoughts on our minds and well-being, we can more easily begin to replace negative thinking with more positive choices.

Stuff with four letters ending in a t happens to all of us; it’s how you handle it that matters. Our thoughts are just thoughts, and we are free to choose new thoughts and positive thinking any time, especially during challenging, changing times. Maintaining a positive mindset can attract more brightness into your life, so you can successfully handle and navigate change and create your super-awesome storyline—no matter what the situation.

In that spirit, I have included more strategies in my OMG Takeaways section and on my website, mysuperawesomelife.com, to help you look on the bright side and support you during the days, weeks, months, and years to come. In the end, it is important to have faith and believe that everything will work out, and you can successfully navigate change, make your ideas happen,

and land butter-side up in the game of life—even during a pandemic. Remember, I believe in you. The question is, do you believe in yourself? view abbreviated excerpt only...

Discussion Questions

1. What was your initial reaction to Butter Side Up? Why did you choose to read it?

2. Did Butter Side Up make you reflect on how you would deal with sudden, unplanned change? If so, what did you learn and how will you apply what you learned in your everyday life?

3. Were there any sections of the book that you identified more with than others? Was there any advice or part of the book that resonated with you?

4. Did the book change your opinion or perspective about change?

Weblinks

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